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  Ruined Forever

  A Pride and Prejudice Fan Fiction

  By

  D. L. Carter

  Chapter One

  For Elizabeth Bennet, known to her intimates as Lizzy, to her Mother as “that dreadful hoyden,” the previous sennight had not been notable in her personal journal as a time in which she was able to sketch amiable and interesting characters. Sadly, no.

  The only new person to introduce themselves into the society of Meryton was that of her Cousin, a Mr. William Collins, the parson of Hunsford and the heir to her Father, Thomas Bennet.

  No sooner had Mr. Collins presented himself at the door of Longbourn that he admitted in confidence to Mrs. Bennet his intention to review the daughters of the house and choose from their number a suitable wife.

  This news immediately delighted Mrs. Bennet, for this woman was, one must admit, selfish, self centered and much occupied in the pursuit of her own comfort. Soon after her marriage to Mr. Thomas Bennet she became aware of the entail bound upon the estate that required the estate be surrendered to the male descendants of a Mr. Hurbert Bennet, grandfather to the current Bennet. In this generation, there being no male children of Thomas Bennet, Mr. Collins was that beneficiary. It was the cause of much distress that this entail had been constructed with no consideration to be extended to the late Bennet's widow. For a woman who thought she had exchanged her dowry of five thousand pounds in the Exchange for a lifetime of security and comfort, Mrs. Bennet was horrified to discover she would be ejected from her home at the whim of a stranger. Her grief was inexpressible - although she did attempt to express that grief on an almost daily basis.

  Therefore Mrs. Bennet, seeking her own future comfort, directed Mr. Collins’ attention toward the second daughter, Elizabeth. Not valuing Lizzy’s intelligence or educated conversation herself, Mrs. Bennet could not imagine Lizzy capturing any useful wealthy man’s attention. Lizzy was not classically beautiful, as was Jane, nor vivacious and charming as was dear Lydia, and far too given to speaking her own mind.

  The fact that Lizzy’s attributes were not those usually found in the wife of a parson did not inhibit Mrs. Bennet's ambitions in the least. The taming and managing of a wife was the responsibility of a husband and, once they were wed and living in distant Hunsford, the matter would no longer be Mrs. Bennet’s concern.

  Therefore, this wet spring morning, Mrs. Bennet was delighted when Mr. Collins approached her with his usual sideways scuttle and curious half-bowed posture to declare, loudly, “May I hope, Madam, to solicit for the honor of a private audience with your fair daughter, Elizabeth, in the course of this morning?"

  And then the man smirked.

  Throughout this speech Mr. Collins kept casting a glance toward where Lizzy sat, watching to see, if she blushed, and looked conscious of the impending honor.

  Elizabeth shook, not with pleasure, nor with pride and pleased anticipation, but with revulsion. She had attempted this last week to redirect the parson’s attention toward her younger sister, Mary, but it seemed her labor had been in vain. Here he was, before many interested witnesses, preparing to solicit her hand.

  The man would have been horrified, if he could perceive the path of Lizzy’s thoughts. That girl was caught between rage at her Mother, and fury at herself for not avoiding this situation.

  Hadn’t she labored at avoiding this man? Had she not worked hard to politely suppress his pretensions?

  Oh, and now she would be forced to directly refuse him, which would only serve to humiliate him and anger her Mother.

  Mrs. Bennet did not misunderstand Mr. Collins’ intentions and immediately leapt to her feet, clapping her hands. She was delighted. Overjoyed. Her plans were progressing, as they should. With Lizzy safely installed in Hunsford she would not be underfoot any longer, confusing her Mother and a drain on the family finances. And, when eventually Mr. Bennet passed from life, Lizzy would not be so impolite as to require her Mother to leave the comfortable Mistress’ chambers. Mrs. Bennet would continue to manage the house as she chose and hold her position of respect and regard in the neighborhood.

  Now that the moment of the long desired proposal had arrived Mrs. Bennet realized Lizzy could not be trusted to manage the moment, as she should. Certainly she was not smiling and blushing, as a soon-to-be bride should, and showed no eagerness to be alone with her suitor. That meant that it was up to Mrs. Bennet to lead the conversation and ensure the marriage.

  Leaping to her feet Mrs. Bennet cried, "Oh dear! Oh yes, certainly. I am sure Lizzy will be very happy. I am sure she can have no objection.” Leaning close to Mr. Collins she whispered, “Do not let her maidenly modesty deter you, Mr. Collins. She will demure at first, but in truth she needs a little encouragement to realize where her best interests lie.” Raising her voice she called to her other daughters. “Come, Kitty, I want you upstairs. Jane. Jane, leave that for now and come along."

  Lizzy leapt to her feet and caught at her mother’s sleeve, "Dear mama, do not go. I beg you will not go."

  Mrs. Bennet took her daughter by the shoulder and pressed her down into a chair.

  "No, Lizzy, I desire you to stay exactly where you are.” She gave Elizabeth a meaningful glare. “Lizzy, I insist upon your staying and hearing Mr. Collins. You know what you are to do! Do not disappoint me, Miss. Remember who you are and what you owe to all the family!”

  Elizabeth stared at the floor. It was useless to quarrel with her mother when the mood was on her to be determined. Instead her only hope, indeed it was her clear intention, was to refuse Mr. Collins. The thought of being married to this barely coherent, posturing sycophant was intolerable to all her sensibilities. She would not be forced or compelled to act against her own happiness.

  "Believe me, my dear Miss Elizabeth,” declared Mr. Collins, as soon as the other women had quit the chamber, “that your modesty, far from doing you any disservice, rather adds to your other perfections. You would have been less amiable in my eyes had there not been this little unwillingness. However, I am assured by your most excellent mother that my proposal shall bring joy to all your family. Almost as soon as I entered the house, I singled you out as the companion of my future life. But before I am run away with by my feelings on this subject, perhaps it would be advisable for me to state my reasons for marrying—and, moreover, for coming into Hertfordshire with the design of selecting a wife, as I certainly did."

  The idea of Mr. Collins, with all his solemn composure, being run away with by his feelings, made Elizabeth bite her lip to keep from laughing. Before she could speak, Mr. Collins began wittering on and despite her waving her fingers, and even raising her hand and coughing loudly, the man refused to stop speaking. Eventually she crossed her arms across her chest, scowled, and resigned herself to waiting until he ran out of breath.

  "My reasons for marrying,” declaimed Mr. Collins, as if he were standing at the pulpit, “First, that I think it a right thing for every clergyman in easy circumstances (like myself) to set the example of matrimony in his parish; secondly, that I am convinced that it will add very greatly to my happiness; and thirdly—which perhaps I ought to have mentioned earlier, that it is the particular advice and recommendation of the very noble lady whom I have the honor of calling patroness. She has raised the subject more than once and was quite detailed in her advice. Choose properly, she told me. Indeed, she especially recommended that I choose a gentlewoman – to be worthy I suspect, of receiving Lady Catherine’s condescension. And then she recommended that my wife should be an active, useful sort of person, not brought up high, but able to make a small income go a good way.”

  “Allow me, by the way, to observe, my fair cousin, that I do not reckon the notice and kindness of Lady Catherine de Bourgh as among the least of the ad
vantages in my power to offer. You will find her manners beyond anything I can describe; and your wit and vivacity, I think, must be acceptable to her, especially when tempered with the silence and respect which her rank will inevitably excite.” He studied Elizabeth with a worried frown, taking in her current discouraging demeanor and remembering her tendency to speak her mind and, once or twice, to directly contradict Mr. Collins. “Yes. Yes.” he said. “Once you have met Lady Catherine you will see how far above us she is and render the proper respect. Yes, then you shall be all that is required!”

  Elizabeth’s frown deepened. Mr. Collins waited for some sign of agreement with his stated assessment. Receiving none, he hurried along, and for the most part Elizabeth paid as little attention to his words as she had since he arrived. He made some reference to his eventual inheritance of Longbourn, which made her sneer, and offered another compliment to himself, which excited no more than her contempt. Then, heaven help her, he bowed again and looked up at Elizabeth with an expression that she feared was this gentleman’s attempt at portraying affection - perhaps, and much worse, lust.

  Dear God, could it be that he thought she liked him? Liked his appearance, his manners, his presumption, well enough to tolerate the burden of marital relations? Incomprehensible man. How could he be that much of a fool? Did he not own a mirror?

  She pressed down on her stomach so as to keep her breakfast where it belonged. Casting up her accounts on her mother’s best carpet would not please her. Certainly, given Mrs. Bennet's promotion of this travesty of a proposal, her refusal was going to strain familial affection enough without adding that disgrace.

  “And now,” intoned Mr. Collins, as his smile broadened and he stepped toward her, both sweaty hands outstretched, “nothing remains for me but to assure you in the most animated language of the violence of my affection. To fortune I am perfectly indifferent, and shall make no demand of that nature on your father, since I am well aware that it could not be complied with; and that one thousand pounds in the four per cents, which will not be yours till after your mother's decease, is all that you may ever be entitled to. On that head, therefore, I shall be uniformly silent; and you may assure yourself that no ungenerous reproach shall ever pass my lips when we are married."

  And he pursed his lips as if in expectation of a kiss from an enamored Elizabeth. She however took two steps back and placed the settee between herself and Mr. Collins.

  "You are far too hasty, sir," she cried. "You forget that I have made no answer. Let me do it without further loss of time. Accept my thanks for the compliment you are paying me. I am very sensible of the honor of your proposals, but it is impossible for me to do otherwise than to decline them."

  "I am not now to learn," replied Mr. Collins, with a formal wave of the hand, and a smug sideways smile, "that it is usual with young ladies to reject the addresses of the man whom they secretly mean to accept, when he first applies for their favour; and that sometimes the refusal is repeated a second, or even a third time. I am therefore by no means discouraged by what you have just said, and shall hope to lead you to the altar ere long."

  “Upon my word, sir," cried Elizabeth, "your hope is a rather extraordinary one after my declaration. I do assure you that I am not one of those young ladies (if such young ladies there are) who are so daring as to risk their happiness on the chance of being asked a second time. I am perfectly serious in my refusal. You could not make me happy, and I am convinced that I am the last woman in the world who could make you so. Nay, were your patroness Lady Catherine to know me, I am persuaded she would find me in every respect ill-qualified for the situation."

  "Were it certain that Lady Catherine would think so, I should not have proposed to you. Her regard is of utmost importance to me, and soon it shall also be to you," said Mr. Collins very gravely, "but I cannot imagine that her ladyship would at all disapprove of you. And you may be certain when I have the honor of seeing her again, I shall speak in the very highest terms of your modesty, economy, and other amiable qualifications."

  "Indeed, Mr. Collins, all praise of me will be unnecessary. You must give me leave to judge for myself, and pay me the compliment of believing what I say. I wish you very happy and very rich, and by refusing your hand, do all in my power to prevent your being otherwise. In making me the offer, you must have satisfied the delicacy of your feelings with regard to my family, and may take possession of Longbourn estate whenever it falls, without any self-reproach. This matter may be considered, therefore, as finally settled. I decline the offer of your hand with all finality."

  And rising as she thus spoke, she would have quitted the room, had Mr. Collins not thus addressed her: "When I do myself the honor of speaking to you next on the subject, I shall hope to receive a more favourable answer than you have now given me; though I am far from accusing you of cruelty at present, because I know it to be the established custom of your sex to reject a man on the first application, and perhaps you have even now said as much to encourage my suit as would be consistent with the true delicacy of the female character."

  "Really, Mr. Collins!" cried Elizabeth with some warmth, "You puzzle me exceedingly if what I have hitherto said can appear to you in the form of encouragement. Indeed, in all the days you have been here have I once indicated that I have any regard for you? Nay, sir, I have not. I know not how to express my refusal in such a way as to convince you of its being one except to say clearly, I shall not marry you!"

  "You must give me leave to flatter myself, my dear cousin, that your refusal is not sincere!"

  "Kindly pay me the compliment of believing me! I thank you for the honor you have done me in your proposals, but to accept them is absolutely impossible. My feelings in every respect forbid it. Can I speak plainer? I am a rational creature speaking the truth from her heart. I will not marry you!"

  "You are uniformly charming!" cried Mr. Collins, bowing again, with an air of awkward gallantry, "and I am persuaded that when sanctioned by the express authority of both your excellent parents, my proposals will not fail of being acceptable."

  “It is not my intention to be charming, sir, but to make myself as clearly understood,” said Elizabeth, firmly. “Further I am convinced you shall not receive my father’s endorsement. I am determined that you shall not be my husband. There, I have said it. Whatever my mother has said to you, or you to her, I am the one who must stand before God and swear my allegiance in marriage and I assure you, Mr. Collins, the man standing beside me will not be yourself!”

  Mr. Collins straightened from his habitual half bow even as his jaw dropped and Elizabeth realized he’d finally understood. Even in this pose his head was still barely on a level with Elizabeth’s. His hands folded and unfolded before his chest as his agitation increased.

  “Do I understand you? You dare to refuse me? Have you considered the implications upon your family should you decline my honorable offer?”

  “Dare?” Elizabeth stiffened. “What if I declare I decline to enter into a marriage with you? What shall become of my family then? Do you hold their fate and future happiness as a threat against me? Do you imagine that any motivation exists whereby I should give myself to a man who would threaten to cast my mother, my sisters, out of their home?”

  “No. No,” Mr. Collin’s considered his words and paused and smiled. “Yes.”

  “Then, sir, my respect for you is hereby lessened. I shall not marry you.”

  “Your mother. The estate...” began the confused parson.

  “Yes, my mother. She has promoted your case to me, beyond reason, and I have said to her what I have now said to you. I have tried to make my feelings clear to her and now it seems I must be emphatic. I shall not marry you! Do whatever evil you choose, I shall not marry you!”

  So saying Elizabeth turned and abandoned the room. For a moment she hesitated, turning toward her father’s bookroom. But the man was not there. Her father, known for rarely setting foot outside his own home, had accepted an invitation to go shooting w
ith a party from Netherfield this morning. Of course, her mother had insisted he do so. Her excuse was wanting to promote the match between Jane and Mr. Bingley, but her other reason, Elizabeth was coming to realize, was to have Mr. Bennet gone from the house when Mr. Collins came to make his proposal.

  A thud came from behind Lizzy. Mr. Collins, while making his exit from the room behind her, had, in his habitual clumsiness, kicked the door. He glanced down, shaking his head but not crying out, as he tried to settle his foot back into his shoes.

  There was a hole in his stocking over the heel. Knowing that her mother had chosen her fate to be the woman seeing to this man’s wardrobe and other wifely duties made Elizabeth cringe. She took to her heels, up the main staircase, her indoor slippers making not the least sound on the staircase. Her objective was to hide in her room, door quite effectively locked, and wait for her father’s return.

  Not so Mr. Collins. The heavyset parson muttered and groaned as he followed her with his peculiar sideways gait. Seeing Elizabeth about to evade him he increased his speed.

  Chapter Two

  Mr. Bennet stood cradling his gun across his chest and watched as his fellow hunters took turns displaying their prowess. As an established sketcher of characters Mr. Bennet was willing to be taught - and be amused, by the display.

  Since being honored with a knighthood Sir William Lucas was more deliberate in his actions and acquired a habit of purchasing fashionable equipment. It was Mr. Bennet's observation that a little less attention to fashion and decoration and a little more attention to the shape of the barrel and preparation of powder and shot might improve his old friend’s aim.

  But Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy were a great deal more interesting.

  New to the neighborhood and with Mr. Bingley paying pointed attention to his eldest daughter Jane, they were presently near to unknown to him and Mr. Bennet was well entertained by their relationship.